2 BOYS LEFT AT NEBRASKA HOSPITALS UNDER SAFE HAVEN LAW
The Associated Press
Published: September 16, 2008
OMAHA, Neb. - Two boys, ages 15 and 11, were left at Nebraska hospitals over the weekend, the first youngsters surrendered under the state's new safe-haven law that allows caregivers to abandon children and teens as well as infants, officials said.
A 44-year-old woman dropped off her teenage nephew at Lincoln's BryanLGH Medical Center West on Saturday, saying the boy had behavioral problems that she couldn't handle anymore, Lincoln Police Chief Tom Casady said. The woman is the boy's legal guardian.
The other boy was left at Immanuel Medical Center in Omaha on Saturday, said Alegent Health spokeswoman Kelly Grinnell.
The 11-year-old was dropped off by his mother, who said she believed she could no longer care for him, said Todd Landry, who heads the Department of Health and Human Services' division of children and family services.
The two cases are the first uses of the state's safe-haven law, Landry said. Neither case produced suspicion of child abuse or neglect and neither child appeared to be in immediate danger, he said.
"These were two cases where the caregiver or parent decided the behavior issues were such they felt they could no longer provide good parenting skills," Landry said.
The 11-year-old remained in an Omaha hospital for evaluation and observation Monday, he said. The 15-year-old was temporarily placed in an emergency shelter in Lincoln. The county attorneys and the courts will now step in to determine custody.
Nebraska was the last state in the nation to adopt a safe-haven law, which took effect July 18. It allows any caregiver, not just a parent, to leave a child at any state-licensed hospital without fear of prosecution.
Under previous law, a parent who abandoned a baby could have been charged with child neglect or abandonment, both misdemeanors, or child abuse, a felony.
Most other states have focused their laws on protecting infants.
State Sen. Arnie Stuthman said he introduced the bill intending to protect infants. In a compromise with senators worried about arbitrary age limits, the measure was expanded to include the word "child."
The law doesn't further define child, and some have interpreted that to mean anyone in Nebraska under the age of 19. Others have taken the common law meaning of child - those under age 14.
Stuthman's bill was signed into law as a way of protecting children from immediate danger or harm, said Landry, who didn't believe the two cases Saturday carried that sense of urgency.
Stuthman said Monday that he was surprised that two older children were abandoned on the same day. He said the cases didn't meet the intent of his bill, but he said they will open lawmakers' eyes as to the issues affecting children and families.
"I clearly do not believe this was the intent of LB157," he said.
Stuthman and others have said they are open to revisiting the legislation.
79 comments:
Yes, parents/legal guardians should be able to drop of their children to a local hospital when they can no longer care for the child, regardless of age. This is only acceptable when the legal guardian drops off their kid as a last resort. For example: There is a single mother responsible for supporting herself and her daughter, but gets a monthly salary of only $500. If a person can barely support themselves, let alone another human being, why should there be a law prohibiting them to potentially save the life of a child by giving them away.
Honestly, I do not think it should be acceptable to just simply drop your kids off, just because you can't 'handle' them anymore. If a mother happened to be raped, still wanted to have the baby, then decided she didn't want it anymore after a few weeks of taking care of it.. WHAT THE HECK?! Look, I understand that the whole rape subject is touchy, but really, if you don't think you can take care of a baby (and do not agree with abortion), automatically put it up for adoption!!!
Who in the heck just decides all of a sudden you can't handle a child? Especially after 11 or 15 years?! I'm sure the aunt of the 15 year old boy offered to take care of him. Fine, if he is crazy, there are places called ASYLUMS...! If he is sick, find a doctor of some sort. Temper problems, find a counselor. I completely disagree with this new 'safe-haven' law. TAKE RESPONSIBILTY for your children, you are an adult. You know, the one setting the example? Ring a bell? It utterly sickens me to see two children, fairly young, just being dropped off at hospitals. If it is money problems, request financial aide from the government... DO NOT abandon your kids! A law letting you give up all rights to your kids, I believe, should be revoked as soon as possible. Unless it is completely BELOW the LAST resort. Truthfully, what has happened to our morals? Put back in place the laws that have been around for so long, and have protected the children of our country for years.
In response to Mike: I thought you brought up some valid points, but I was wondering which laws do you mean by this statement, "Put back in place the laws that have been around for so long, and have protected the children of our country for years."
Also, financial aid doesn't always cover the expense of food, shelter, clothing. This doesn't seem like an option if there was a struggling single parent with multiple children.
Eric, fair enough, it is tough and you are right as a single mother making $500 a month it would be most difficult. But there are programs from Access, Food Stamps,etc... My question is what would be the last resort and who gets to define "the last resort?" I know this is a little Utopian, but shouldn't you consider the issues prior to having the child?
I tend to agree with Mike on the take responsibility issue. Truly, no offense against you wonderful teens, but wouldn't most parents at one time or another be tempted to drop of an unruly teen. My soon to be 15 year old can be a trial. In a moment of extreme frustration couldn't a parent make a hasty, "I'm dropping you off at the safe haven place" This would open a new can a worms because when that parent cools off and says oh I want my kid back. Would you as a kid want that parent back? Safe Havens are a wonderful program for newborn and infants,but offering a no age limit is giving a parent an out they do not deserve.agdop3
Oh my goodness!!
I cannot believe this! Is todays society so misguided that a child is not worth anything anymore? What makes a baby's life more important than a 11 year old or a 15 year old or a 90 year old!?! A soul is a soul and they are all worth something. Abandoning a child is a cowardice thing to do. It allows adults to run away from their responsibilities. They skirk their responsibility. "Oh but being a parent is hard." Sooooo!!!! No one said it would be easy. These children have the same right as a baby to be looked after and loved, not dropped off at a hospital as if they were a package.
In response to Mrs.Burr...
I like that you brought this point up because yes teens are sometimes (or most of the time) a pain in the butt. All parents or most get annoyed with their children and in a whirl of emotion they sever ties with their children forever. Forsaking what they love in the heat of anger. That is not fair to the children that their lives must be changed forever because of a irresponsible parent.
I think parents should not just be able to drop children off at a hospital if they can not care for them anymore. The reason is because all that will do is cause more comotion and doctors will have to leave one patient to go care for another one that just got dropped off. But at the same time i think it is a good thing for hospitals to take care of children for the parents as long as there is a max number of days they can stay before they are put up for adoption.
I believe, as Ms. Burr eluded to, There is the issue of a "last resort." If the guardian can no longer care for the child and another family member is unable to fully care fr the child, why should the guardian not be able to give up the child to either a hospital or the fire department and ensure he or she can still live out a long and healthy life? I understand Mike's point and it is a very logical one but there are sometimes extreme cases that make us look at this system and question but for the most part, it can be a key contributer in declining infant deaths. On the evening news last night, on Indian Bend and 19th Ave. Police discovered a baby, with the umbilical cord still attached, in a dumpster being left to die. This would occur much more ofton if parents did not have the ability that the New Haven Law gives them.
If parent(s) are no longer or no longer feel capable of rasing their child because of behavioral reasons, as mention by posters and the prompt, I feel this is a last resort.
I tend to believe that the guardian that gave up the Behavior problem child had tried other alternatives before this scenirio.
In response to:
Eric: I completely agree
Mike: On your comment about "Asylums" i think a mother would much rather ind a good home for their child then send him/her to lock up.
Burr: Also a fair statement but also that is an extreme case where hot headedness causes a decision like that. But if you child is abusive to you and others and you fell you can not take care of him you can try alternative schools etc. or Military School or boot camp but that requires money that a parent may or may not have. I think in some of these cases it could save a child from being a criminal and help them get their life back on track.
PSanches: on your comments of "childs life changing because of irresponsible parent" If a child has irresponsible parents wont in alot of cases he will turn out irresponsible as well. Also if a parent is so irresonsible as you say wouldnt it be a detrament to the child to stay with parents that not only ae irresponsibe but dont want or cant care for him?
KAndrews: While I undertsand what your saying the big issue here is not wether or not Dr.'s have time to care but weither or not it should be done? Also you say no at the begining but acceptable at the end.
I strongly disagree, because you shouldn't give away your kids at all. To support yo family you need to work.If you can't take care of your kids then don't have them. I just think that's wrong giving away yo child. If u under the age 18 then i understand why you should give them away.
i think that if you were to put your 15 year old child into that situtation isnt fair. if you cant control your child anymore isnt your fault. instead of just gettig rid of it and possibly never see it again why dont you just have a stronger family memeber watch it and get it into check. just abandoning a child is horrible.
in my opinion this is really dumb. if you cant take care of someone put them up for adoption. don't just leave YOUR child to someone else so they can take care of something that is your responsibility. what if something happened to the kid when you drop them off. if you don't want to deal with the consequences you shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.
i dont understand how someone could actually think its ok to drop your kids of at the hospital.
Psanchez, I love you passion and your point is well taken, abandoning a child could be construed as a cowardice thing to do, but don't you think that it could also be the most loving thing a person could do as well (I am referring to newborns, not older children) If you find yourself pregnant and completely incapable of taking care of a child. Would that child not be better off in a safe haven and ultimately a good home?
This issue surprises me. Why after 11 and 15 years of taking care of a child you all of a sudden cant? To me, it seems like the legal gardians have the obvious potential to keep raising the children but since that law came they decided it was the easy way out. Nothing is going to be easy so dont just give up right when things get bad. You obviously know what you are getting yourself into when having a child so if you dont think you'll be able to handle the lifetime committment, then dont get yourself in that situation! Just the thought of dropping off a child like its useless to somebody disgusts me because children arent packages. They are real people and dont deserve to be just carelessly "dropped off."
I agree with amanda. How do you think the 11 and 15 year old feel after being just dropped off? If i was them, i would definitely be traumatized for life! I would feel so unloved and just not cared about. Obviously, babies dont know whats going on but still it doesnt change anything. To me, this whole thing is just ridiculous.
I say that yes, dropping your kid off at a hospital should be okay. If that kid is sufferingbecause you can't afford to take care of them then why make them keep suffering. However, I really hope that there is some paperwork and legal documents involved. Like I think that there should be some investigation done by the hospital to see that you are infact unable to take care of the child. And then meybe they can say yes we will take them. But if they don't want to take the child because they (the hospital investigator person) could maybe think of some ideas and ways for the legal guardian to be able to support the child.
Okay so everything I just said i guess sounds like CPS. lol except kinda in reverse where you turn in your child rather than them taking them away. But turning them in would be the more responsible thing to do anyways!
Once you have a child, you take the responsibilities of an adult. A responsible adult doesn't give their child away to someone else. I understand that some kids are really messed up (such as they threaten their parents and show utter disrespect, disregard and hate toward their parents), and that makes it really hard for a parent to take care of a child, but on the other side....how are the parents being a good and strong example for their kids? If the parent raised the kid really poorly (character wise) then the parent is most likely at fault for the childs behavior. In a world where parents raise their children correctly, one should not be able to just drop their kid off somewhere for good. However, in our messed up world where there are messed up parents raising messed up kids and those kids then become as their parents, one should give their child away if they abuse them terribly. It is wrong to abandon your child, but irresponsible parents who really don't care for their kids shouldn't get to keep their kids. As far as being a single mom, dropping your kid off because you can't take care of them financially- THAT IS BULLPOOP! (for lack of a better word)...unless she is a handicapped person with no family members. ----and stripping to earn your living for you and your child is no choice either. First of all if you were an American single mom, you should have finished highschool for more job opportunities, and Second of all if you are foreign,there are always jobs out there for you too. Example: My mom came from Romania and she ended up divorcing with no financial help from her ex-husband(my dad)or from any other person and she raised my little sister and I up pretty well by making a living as a caregiver for the elderly. And I know of other cases where mothers with willpower managed just fine on their own. My final opinion on the law: Parents should only be allowed to give their kids(up to the age of 19)away after close speculation by child protection services sees that someone truly can't raise up a child and neither can anyone else related to the child.
I strongly believe that if your going to have a kid, you should be able to take on the responsiblites, and that if you cant then you shouldn't any. But even if it does happen, you should be willing to give it up for adoption for a better life than your going to be giving it by dropping it off at a hospital, but I do think that the Nebraska law is very important for those kids whose parents disown them, because it is not only a place for them to stay and sleep it is a place for them to make a new family. And everyone knows family is the most important support system in your life.
Wow, I can’t even believe someone would drop off their child at a hospital, especially after they have spent 11/15 years with them. To me safe havens are fine, I encourage them as long as your child is still a baby, but once after they reach 3 I don’t think it should be allowed. To me the aunt sounded selfish, and was only thinking about herself, because if she was thing about her nephew, she would have thought about how he is going to feel growing up and knowing he was just “dumped off”
There are two really different sides to this case. One is the responsibility of being an adult and sticking with your child in the good and the hard times. But then there is the side that is if you can’t provide for this child because of any circumstance, someone or some program should be there to help you out afterward.
Say there is a 20 year old woman who has a baby and who is doing well, she has her boyfriend that’s helping her out but she doesn’t work and is living off of her boyfriend. But then the husband decides to leave, yes you should be responsible for your child but there are many cases where the only thing left to do is let another person take care of your child while you take care of yourself.
On the other hand you had the baby you should have to work with the child and or baby and not just be giving a cop out if you feel tired one day of working with the child. But if you cannot give the baby what it needs you need to step up to the plate and she what can be done with this child, and if the case happens to be giving it away to the hospitals so be it. But this woman who had her child for 11 years should have stuck it out you don’t give up on someone because they have behavioral problems the fact is you should never give up on your child and the parent shouldn’t give up on them.
I really agree with mike on the responsibility factor. When having a child you should think prior to have this child what am I going to do and what’s going to be my goal with this child. No parent should ever give up, the child is riding on what you do and its life depends on the parents choices you make as an individual.
I think that this is a good law because if a parent or legal guardian can't take care of a child they can just leave them at a proper facility and this prevents the child from being neglected or abused by a parent or caregiver. This is a very good idea if for example a young mother (maybe 15-17) has a child and cannot take care of the baby.
I believe that you should be able to drop your kids off at a hospital but, as mentioned before, only as a last resort.I think it's completely ridiculous to drop off an 11 and 15 year old.There are so many other ways to handle the situation other than deciding to abandon them after you have known them that long.That really doesnt sound like the mother 'loves' them at all, but then again i dont completely know the situation. Maybe they could add some guidlines to that new law, such as trying to drop off kids older then 7 years old maybe they should have a brief analysis of the situation. Keeping it anonymous is completely fine for younger children, but dropping off children of an older age is a little suspicious to me.
Kandrew, I kind of agree with you, I think it is okay for someone to drop off their kids at a hospital (as long as they are still a baby). I think if a teenager gets pregnant and can’t have or support the baby they can “drop” it off because you know if the baby is dropped off at a hospital then there will be nurse and doctors their incase something happens. I think it would be better if the mother put the baby up for adoption though. After all that is the point of safe havens.
I also agree with Eric because I know some people who are like the person in his example. They do have an extremely hard time supporting the child and some of them are looking for help from Access and cannot get help because of certain rules that they cannot follow to fall within the Access plans.
I think if the legal guardians drop off their kid because they cannot provide for him finacially it is ok because the parent wants their kid to have a better life. On the otherhand if the parent drops off their kid because they have discipline problems the family should be using other ways to help solve the problem.
I think if parents were able to just simply drop their kids off at a hospital when they can not take care of them is unwise. If children were constantly getting dropped off at a hospital facility it would take a doctor away from a sick patient to go watch a troubled child. I think the hospital should be a place where sick or injured people can go to get the care they need, not for children with troubled lives.
I personally think that its not right to just go ahead and drop of your kid(s)just because you cant handle them anymore. I believe that if you where able to take care of your child since the day he/she was born, which are like probably the hardest years, then why would you just all of a sudden want to get rid of your child!? If the mother couldn't support her child financially she could of easily lookd for help.Like Mrs. Burr said theres programs from Access, Food Stamps,etc. I dont think there is any reason whatsoever to just go and drop your kid off just like that.!
I also think that just like little kids deserve and should get attention and love, teenagers should also get it. Some teenagers go through alot because of family issues, such as there mom or dad didn't put much attention to them, or just other problems. These kids are now in there teen age, which means that there aware of everything that is going on, and this can truely affect them.! I dont think there moms stop to think about there kids or there future. I think that a mother that abandons her child is bad because I think it generally has a very big impact on how the child comes to view the world. The child can have severe emotional trauma or long periods of depression can "rewire" the brain, or change it biochemically, to the point where counseling and/or medication may be needed to help the child.
Ahh...I meant the laws that were in place before the new safe-haven ones! No laws in specific, however basic ones like child abandonment or such things like that. If you are a teen with a baby, simply you SHOULD NOT have had sexual relations with someone. When someone does that they must know the risks, and they basically void me feeling bad or respect for them if they do get pregnant. It is a personal choice to do that. Especially if they decide to drop their child off some where, or abandon it all together. Also, if a mother has a salary of 500 dollars a month, why would she choose to have so many children? It is her ultimate responsibility if she decides to have children under those conditions! (Rape is a different story, yet again.) And Mrs. Burr pointed out there are programs and things like receiving Food Stamps, other than financial aide.
And further more, I would not want my mom one day when she is mad to just dropped me off at a local hospital! Would anyone wish that upon themselves? Even if you hate your parents a lot of the time, would you rather live in our adoption system and foster care forever?
And to Jaime.... I meant if your child is mentally unstable, or has frequent temper tantrums, there is no need to drop your kid off. There are programs our system has developed, and if an "asylum" (I was being over dramatic) or another mental place, is the best place, then great. Not a regular hospital is what I'm saying. Regardless I believe you should love your child unconditionally, and no matter what is wrong, you should never give up your rights for the good of yourself. Only for THEM! And I doubt they want to leave.
Yes, i feel that parents should be able to drop of their children to any local hospital.I mean it is not the best thing to do but if you cant handle them any more try to figure something out. If things get worst every day then take them to the local hospital...But if you have a child who is lets say 15 and that child its not behaving good at all and all of a sudden you decide to go and drop him of at the local hospital In my opinion why would you do that if you have put up with that child for what 15 years might as well try another thing to make him behave better then just go and drop him of.
I agree with eric kern....
parents should be allowed to drop of their kid but i feel that they should only be able to do that if there is a situation like in the example that u used about the single mother and not having enough money to support son/daughter...
I think its perfectly right for a parent to drop off his or her child when she is not capable of caring for them. The parent wants to see their kid get a better life. See them grow up wealthier than they do. The parent might not be financially fit to give them food or even a roof to live under. If they give them up the young child can get food and a roof to live under without having to worry about anything. If the guardian is just dropping off the child to hide abusive behavior then the Parent should be arrested and put on trial. Either way the child still has to find a new home but it will be better than throwing them down the street and letting them rot for nothing. The parent is trying to care for the child the best way they can.
Come on be real you should not be aloud to drop your kid off at a hospital or any place unless you put it up for adoption!!!. Its not even acceptable to do this unless it is putting a kid up for adoption. I mean if you cant handle your kid then learn how to be a parent and take control unstead of leting your kid call the shots. If you wernt ready for a kid then that person should of thought of that befor they go off and make stupid choices!!
That is just my opinion on this topic.
I don't really know where I stand on this issue. I mean, I'd rather have the kids be in a better environment than in the care of someone who doesn't want them anymore, but I agree with Mike that you shouldn't give up after such a long time.
But I also agree with Eric; however, maybe they should revise the law. Meaning that there should possibly be an age limit to who can be dropped off.
I think that parents or legal guardians should not be able to drop off their children in a local hospital because I think that children should not be handled like a think or an object. I am sure that if the parents drop off their children they really get hurt inside. And I also think that if parents have problems with their children it is their own fault because they must have done somoething wrong that their children became like that. And they should first try to solve problems. There are lots of phsychologists etc. that can help parents to handle their kids. So I think that there is everytime a reason that children became hard to handle, so I think before dropping off the children the parents should look for this reason, because maybe it is a missunderstanding. Children will get depressive when they get dropped off by their parents bcause parents should be the persons who you can trust and from who you get "love", so I think it is a really bad idea to be able to drop off their children.
But I also have to say that it can be a good think for mothers that get a baby and they know that the baby won't have a good life, so if you drop off your child when it is baby than it could be okay because it does not know who is the mother and it gets the chance to have a good life:) With that I mean that sometimes there are teenager that beccome mothers through an "accident" and they would waste their whole life and the babys life if they keep the baby...
I totally think its ok to drop your chil doff if you can 100% not take care of it, but if you lie about it just to get rid of the child thats messed up you only do that if the child will be better off with someone else.
I agree with Mike gilardi adoption is the way to go = D
In my opinion it is totally not okay to drop off your child no matter what age they are because of behavior or anything. I think that when you have a kid it's time to grow up and be a responsible adult and if you can't support a kid then you shouldn't have one. I totally understand that some people may have money issues and not be able to support themselves, but if you already can't support yourself and are barely getting by then you probabley shouldn't have a kid. Plus the way i see it is if you have a kid your always suppose to be there for them to support them and to love them and take care of them I mean it's your kid, to just drop them off is like you don't even care or anything. Maybe some kids do have behavioral problems but there are other ways to handle it then just dropping them off like maybe going to a counselor and having someone talk to them. I just don't think it's right and I don't believe that people should be allowed to do that.
To: Eric Kern
In your blog you talked about a single mother not making alot of money and saving the child by giving them away. I totally understand where you are coming from! But I have to say from my own experience I think a single mother could do it. For example: When I was about 2 years old my dad had left and didnt want anything to do with me, so it was all left up to my mom , and she didnt have anyone to help her out. My mom didn't make alot of money, plus the fact that she had no one helping her was hard for her. There were times she didnt have enough money but still managed to pull through and support me and while my dad gave up on me that was the farthest thing from my mom's mind. Even though she had a hard time she didnt try to give me away or anything, she went through all of it with me. And to this day she is still supporting me on her own, but we also have a way better life now. So I think that a single mother with a kid would be able to take care of a kid and pull through it without having to drop the kid off anywhere. My mom is living proof that a single mother with a kid not making alot of money can do it, and so should every other parent.
This is a tricky topic to cover. i feel parents who can't seem to "deal" with their child, simply isn't trying hard enough, or trying in the right ways. I'm sure if we take a good look at the type of people dropping off children to hospitals, there is constancy of the type. Children are not so bad as they cannot be handled, it is how the parents raised the kids from their birth that they get so bad. People who work at hospitals have a duty to care for the sick and dying. Not take a child under they're wing because the parent can't handle them anymore.
The new Nebraska law that allows parents or guardians to drop of their children at safe houses without fear of prosecution has merit in my opinion. If a parent cannot care for a child because of financial problems, emotional problems or for medical problems then why not have a legal method of finding new supervision for the child with the governments help. Obviously, no good parent would give up their kids if they had any means to care for them. This means that only very bad parents (who in my opinion shouldn’t have had kids to begin with) or good people that just can’t cope with parenting are going to be the only people this law applies to… what good does it do for the government to punish them by making it illegal to give up your kids. Either way it seems to me the children have a better chance for success in society in these extreme cases. Laws shouldn’t be made to govern morality, they should be made to protect its citizens…especially the children and this law may help some kids that may otherwise have had to stay with terrible parents only because the parents were afraid of potential legal problems if they give up custody. My concern about this law though is that once the government has taken custody of the children they have an obligation to make sure the children end up in a better environment then they were originally in. I don’t know if the government can and will accomplish that. The government by trying to help kids may end up hurting them in the long run. Is it better to stay in a bad home with your parents or to live as a ward of the state and know your parents couldn’t care less about you? But if you try to view this law as an eleven year old child, it would be a devastating blow to be abandoned by your parents by being dropped off at a hospital. An eleven year old child already knows enough of the world around him to understand that his parents by having given birth to him have accepted a responsibility of raising him. How do you get over you own parent’s abandoning you?
I still believe that it shouldn’t be illegal to give up your children but that all other options need to be explored first and that this should only be a last resort. It is a terrible thing to do to a child if he is old enough to remember!
To Eric Kerns comment:
I believe that his opinion was well spoken and a fair example of where the law might help a child. Like you can also read in my text.
in response to dan
you talk about giving the kid up so they can have a better life. but isn't it kinda cowardish to drop a kid off at a hospital or random place and leave them to fend for themselves? There are adoption agencies that are designed to care for these situations. If it is a financial situation then don't place the burden on someone else who has a lot more of their plate.
I have to agree with Cody. The parents cant support their child so they give them up to better people. Then they will have nothing to worry about.
In response to Larissa the kids are not just given up to no one. They are given to a designated safe area so someone will find the child and care for them. They will find them a family that can support them.
In response to frefec:
I agree with what your saying! I also do not think it is acceptable for a parent to just drop the kid off anywhere. It could be on how they taught the kid and the parent would most likely be at fault just like you had said. And as for the example you wrote about your mom raising you and sister on her own...it was the same way with my mom and I. Not alot of money, no help from my dad but she still raised me and never gave up. So I strongly agree with you.
To Dan...
But how do you justify "a designated safe area"? People must take into account that as a child gets older, it is less apt to be removed from a "safe area" and put in a reliable home. Parents looking to adopt, in any circumstance, will most likely want a child that they can mold (for lack of a better word) to how they would like it. It's nearly impossible to mold a child that is just before puberty, as they now have their "own" mind. They are going to form their own ideas, plans, etc.. You can't expect a child to condone just leaving home. Like I said before, a parent should look on their child's stand point or behalf, and see whether it is best for the child, or really if it just suits the parent better.
I think that parents should not be allowed to just drop off their kids at a hospital just becaused their kid misbehaves. If they couldn't handle the responsibilities with being a parent they should not have had a child. If a child has behaviour problems that means that you did not do a good job teaching the child as he was growing up. There are circumstances that you might need to leave your child like if you have financial problems. Then you have to do what is in the best interest for your child. You shouldn't put yourself in a financial situation that you need to give away your child. If it gets that bad you should try to get help from your family to care for the child.
In response to any one who mentioned how parents/guardians can't be constantly dropping off children:
IT WON"T CONSTANTLY HAPPEN. Just because parents/guardians are allowed to do it that doesn't mean they will because they know that that says something negative about them. Parents will do EVERYTHING they can to keep their children, and parents who won't do everything, well maybe they should drop them off at a hospital.
I believe that all adults need do alot more thinking before they have a child. There are far too many couples having children before they're ready or even financially ready to take on the challenge of being a parent. Most of the people who would give up their child weren't prepared or ready for the child they're giving up. If these people used common sense and thought about the cost of raising children and about how "easy" raising children really is they might decide that "hey maybe we should wait to have a child".
For the people that use the safe haven law and claim that they couldn't support the child (whether financially or emotionally) any longer (however much they may think this a reasonable excuse) it really isn't because they decided to have the child however many years ago. They made the decision to have a child.
Now I won't be so naive as to say there are no exceptions to what I've said. As much as I would like to be able to say that things such as rape and bankruptcy don't exist and that we live in a perfect world, I can't, but this isn't to say that there aren't better options out there other than safe haven. For instance instead of dropping your child off at a safe haven why not put them up for adoption or if mentally or emotionally handicapped give them up to a place that deals with those kind of children.
I have to disagree with Mike Gilardi's post about the surrendering of a child to an asylum. This is not the place for any child no matter how bad. The only way a child should be put in an insane asylum is if they have done something terrible. A mental health centre would probably fit the bill.
p.s. My guess is that you meant something more aong the lines of a mental health centre when you said "asylum".
I don't feel that Nebraska's interpretation of a child is correct. I think that the law should be interpreted as a baby. If a child is older they will have emotional attachments to their guardians and this could pose problems in their futures.
I do see a positive to the age limit however. It could protect the child from their guardian if their guardian does not want them or can no longer care for them. A good majority of parents care for their children so it shouldn't be abused on too great of a scale.
With this article, I have to agree with the legislatures choice's to revise the law.
In response to ddrake1...
I can understand your frustration with parents you have described, however, many people cannot help getting themselves into financial situations, it is simply how the cards fall. Some rich people probably are not good with money, and some of the most poverty stricken people are excellent at managing money, just for various reasons they cannot take enough income.
And if you were hinting that this woman shouldn't have had these children, it appears as though she adopted, or received them as a result of a death or custody battle. Both children were her nephews, so she may have had little part in their lives for a long time.
And this woman may not have any family to receive assistance from; so all your comments very well may not apply to everyone.
Simply giving up a child because of behavioral problems, that’s ridiculous, I would think 50% of parents with teenagers would say there kids have behavioral problems. Seriously I mean most of us teenagers think our parents are stupid and cant even stand to be around them, but a parent is supposed to always love there child no matter what and do there best to care for them. I mean if you are a single mom and still working as a waitress with 3 teenagers the idea of giving up a child seems understandable, but solely giving up a child because he or she is a little feisty is dumb. Why don’t you send your little troublemaker kid off to boot camp for a summer that might straighten him out.
I agree with the trouble teenagers have in being adopted I mean who the heck would want to adopt some teenager. A person that would adopt a teenager is a very unselfish person, a person that should be admired. Hey but seriously if you want to give up a child and the problem with keeping your own son or daughter is not financial I almost want to say screw you to bad, but if you think about it; would you really want a person with those kind of morals forced to raise a kid they don’t even want. Which might be even worse than just abandoning him but I really don’t know this topic is a lot more complicated than I thought.
I don't think it matters if you are able to drop your kids off to a hospital or not. If parents want to get rid of kids, they will find a way. And if they are forced to keep them, they will be raised poorly. There isn't much you can do about an individuals will to parent/nurture their kid.
I also agree that you should not be able to ditch your kids, but once again, those parents will find some alternative to the hospital
Yes i believe that guardians should be able to drop there kids off if they wish. not all people cant take care of kids or a child depending on how much they make, life style, or low income. THere should be a place to go and a hospital seems like a good enough place for me. So what the child can have a better life or atleast a better place that they could live instead of having to struggle. IF thats y the gaurdian is getting rid of them. it may not seem right to others for people to do this but really you got to be in that persons shoes before you can judge or say anuthing.
I would have to disagree with ddrake1. YOu cant always know whats goin to happen. maybe they didnt mean to have a kid but couldnt pay for an aboratin. would u rather them just drop there kid off in a trash can or at a park? If we have places like that then thous kids can atleast have a change. Just look at it from there point of view. what if you had a nice job and good family but all of a sudden one day you get deforced or get kicked to the streets or the gaurdian is involved with drugs. Theres always sometime when its ok to do things that we dont always like or think is good. You just never know intill u get in that potion.
In response to eric kern:
I agree with what you are saying because its kind of like some of the situations with adopted kids, the parents are only doing what they think is best and they want their kid to have a better life with another family than what they could have offered them, on the other hand i see what mike gilardi is saying, the mother was definitely unreasonable and need to handle it a different way, it seems like she dropped the 11 and 15 year olds off in act of frustration and desperation.
Yes i agree with the haven law because i think that if you cant take care of the child then you should be able to give them up. The kid deserves a better life and if the parent or guardian cant give it to them then give the kid to someone that can. The haven law could really save some kids lives!
in response to mike.....
I dont agree with what you are saying because maybe you can support your kid for a while but then it gets hard and you dont want to have to go through the whole adoption process then you could just go to the hospital or something and drop your kid off i mean some people dont no that and they end up killing their baby. So now they can drop them off so that way its not a big deal...
They legal guardians have a moral responsibility to the child they are caring for. They cannot leave their children at a local hospital only for behavior issues. The parents should not give up so easily. I don't understand how someone who brought the being into the world can relinquish it without trying as hard as possible to fix the problem whatever it may be.
I have reconsidered my opinion of the issue. I belive if the parents have no possible manner of caring for the child and no sign of hope in the future, then I do believe the law should not prohibit the legal guardians from abandoning their child. Although, as the article states, the two children were dropped off at a local hospital by their parents without any knowledge of the destination the child would be sent. If a parent is going to abandon their child take him/her to a family member or a good friend who can watch over him until the guardians are in a better situation. Not to be sent to the nearest orphanage or worse.
I have reconsidered my opinion of the issue. I belive if the parents have no possible manner of caring for the child and no sign of hope in the future, then I do believe the law should not prohibit the legal guardians from abandoning their child. Although, as the article states, the two children were dropped off at a local hospital by their parents without any knowledge of the destination the child would be sent. If a parent is going to abandon their child take him/her to a family member or a good friend who can watch over him until the guardians are in a better situation. Not to be sent to the nearest orphanage or worse.
I simply was exaggerating when I said asylum... I am just saying that you should not just drop your kids off any where if you feel you can't "handle" them anymore. It's the parent's moral and legal responsibility. You have a child, you take care of it.
I agree with Mike if you have a kid you have to take care of it. You shouldn't just drop it off because you can't handle it anymore. People have to take responsibility for there kids and not just give them away.
I dont think parents should be allowed to do that to 11 and 15 year olds. thats soooo messed up you have no idea. like. oh hey i took care of you your whole life..you cost too much money. PEACE. like how could a parent do that? like sure maybe you have some money issues but maybe you could drop them off with an aunt, friend, grandma..cousin. anybody dude i mean gosh that makes me mad because the kid probably thinks they have done something horribly wrong and will be alllll screwed up. ya know?
Yeah i think you should be able to abandon a child if you cant take care of them anymore. If someone cant afford or is incapeable of taking care of you it might be better for you to be with someone else. On the other hand if you get in trouble for somethin pretty bad your parents would have the option of just ditching you and that'd suck.
i dont think it should be aloud for parents to drop off there kids at any age because some kids are scared and might run away before anyone notices that there here.
i agree with mike gilardi if you wanted the kid at first but then after a couple of weeks and then like a couple of weeks late say i cant handle it anymore thats just wrong.
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